Ok I give in. Waitressing pet peeves.

I avoided doing this blog for a long time because I think it is so overdone, but I cannot help but continue to be both fascinated and horrified on a daily basis of people's social and eating habits. As the granddaughter of the queen of grammar and etiquette, I was raised to have good table manners...or else. Nothing fancy like knowing where the shrimp fork goes, just things that I personally consider common sense. When you want something, say please, and when you receive it, say thank you. Don't chew with your mouth open, don't play with your food, etc. However, I have discovered that many people I have waited on over the past 6 years seemed to have missed these lessons, but somehow they are allowed to dine in public places regardless of how disastrous their manners are. I'll start with examples of general rudeness:

Me: "Hello ma'am, how are you doing today?"
Customer: "Sweet tea."

Me: "Can I get y'all anything right now?"
Child: "WHERE'S MY CHICKEN FINGERS?"

Me: "Ok guys, I've got a large pepperoni pizza?"
Customers: (dumb silence as the pan continues to grow increasingly hot against my hand)

Manners are the worst thing I have to deal with, but watching people eat can be pretty terrible too. Some habits are gross, and some are just weird. The other day, for example, a woman ordered a calzone. Rather than cut into the giant mound of bread and cheese with a knife and fork, however, she began by picking it up and meticulously brushing off the crumbs from the plate. She then tilted the plate up as if she was looking into one of those adjustable mirrors, and began to pick at the vegetables inside, pausing every few minutes to brush away more crumbs. I'm guessing she was OCD, but my fellow waitresses and I could not help but watch in fascination as she demolished her calzone piece by tiny piece. Other times are less fascinating, and more disgusting. People trying to ask for things while still chewing is particularly gross, as I cannot help but notice the half-chewed piece of pizza being passed around in their mouth. I thought people learned not to do that by the time they reached third grade. And of course, most tables tend to require at least a bucketful of ranch with every pizza.

Want to know an interesting fact? I actually like waiting tables. Sure I complain, but I'm pretty sure any job has its downsides, and this is just one more thing to write about.